Spiritual experiences

In my apparent life or story if you want, all my life of so called spiritual search there has been a fear of enlightened or spiritual experiences. This is my case, this is the reasons:

- There is a hidden trap, difficult to se by the self. The question is; "who is experiencing this?"
- If there is some good experiences there then the fear to lose it appears.
- Then there is the chasing for the happening to somehow keep it there forever or something like that.
- You always want more of it, there is the desire for more of it.
- This chasing creates suffering because the lack of control of it.

The experience is not the problem, the problem is the "me" that claims the experience and trying to control it. The problem is the unnecessary suffering the "I" is creating out of it. The experience is as it is. It should stand for itself.

It seems that the "me" comes back and says; "look what I did!"When there is the idea of a doer or someone that have any control over what's happening is suffering.
What releases the suffering is the seeing through the illusory "me", "I". Until then the suffering goes on in awareness, the play goes on, until it's not.

Roshi