"Whoever finds their way to this door, finds it open."
Not grasping nor pushing anything away. In a sense, that's analogous to remaining in the present, because in the present everything collapses, and you really can't hold onto anything. The moment you grasp onto something, or you push something away, in a sense you're not in the present, because you're attached or identified with something that's passing away. So not doing that--not grasping or pushing anything away--really brings you into the present. this receding landscape in which everything was dissolving into this ever-present eternal moment, unencumbered by any kind of willing, or grasping, or pushing away. You start to taste the eternal.
"How do you know you are? Because you are!" You can't know this through thinking about it. All the thinking mind can ever know is that it can't know, because the thinking mind is dualistic. There's a subject trying to grasp some object. So that has to come to a stop. And when it does, there's no subject and there's no object. There's just Being, and the Being is infinite space. The Being is in everything. Everything is arising from this infinite space. The space is birthing everything and dissolving everything simultaneously. And everything is just this empty infinite space. This emptiness knows everything, because it's empty--just like the eye sees every color because it has no color of its own. So this "knowing" knows everything because it's nothing.
Andrea had an awakening experience, if we can use that word.....if you want to read the whole story, here is the link.
Anyway, someone is questioning if she is enlightened....
Q: So, do you now consider yourself to be Enlightened?
A: Enlightened?.... Why do I hesitate to use that word, Enlightened? Because to have the Realization is one thing, to live the Realization is another. To be a Buddhist is one thing, to be a Buddha is another. To know Reality is one thing, to be Reality is another. There is an embodiment process that goes on. There's a birthing, and a maturing, just like a child is born and grows. Literally, I feel I have plopped out of the womb of the Divine Mother. I am just an infant, not yet an adult--which is how I would define an Enlightened being, as someone who fully embodies the Realization.
Q: Then how would you label your experience, if anything...?
A: I like the word "Gnosis" because to me it has kind of the sense of I met God. I got to God, so to speak. I got into the depth of what's Real. But then what's that? What is God? Oh, the mystery of God! The mystery of Self! It's greater than ever! Now there's this infinite expression of God, or the Divine, or the Self. It's like Joel has said, "The journey to God has an end, but the journey in God has no end," because how could there be an end to God? Dr. Wolff talked about that, too. He talked about greater and greater depths of Space--that Consciousness is this infinitely revelatory expression of the Self, and that never ends. So what happened to me was, I woke up. I woke from the dream. And now, when I'm dreaming--which still goes on--I'm lucidly dreaming. Now, I know that I'm dreaming. And I want to share all this because I feel it's very important.
Everything that everybody has shared with me has been extremely useful. And this is happening to all of us. Our meditations are deepening, and this is going to be happening. That's why I want to share everything I can. Because it's happening to us together. But, if I say, "I'm Enlightened," there're all these connotations--"Are you saying you're Buddha? Are you saying you're omniscient?" No I'm not saying any of that. So, I'm afraid to say anything--but at the same time I can't lie. I crossed a line. I woke up. And because of that I can't be separated from the Beloved anymore. I can't.
Q: What is your advice for other seekers?
A: To just carry on and know that you're perfectly in accord with your destiny.
Spring 1998 Andrea Pucci